To Be Married

at

St. Luke’s Episcopal Church

Scituate, MA

 

Congratulations!

 “Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony…Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.”

 Those who seek a wedding at St. Luke’s recognize and celebrate that God and our faith in God centers all we are and do.

 In this day and age many alternative venues and presiders, secular and sacred, are available in order to be legally married in the state of Massachusetts. To seek a priest and a church is to make a special claim about the meaningfulness of this ceremony specifically and about your faith in general.

 Marriage ceremonies in Massachusetts are legal for heterosexual and homosexual couples. The Diocese of Massachusetts empowers its priests to perform the legal marriage on behalf of state and church for heterosexual couples. The Diocese empowers us to offer the church’s blessing to same gender couples, but they must seek a secular person/venue by whom to be married for legal/state purposes. If you need further information please be in touch with the Rector, Grant Barber.

 Arranging a wedding ceremony/blessing at St. Luke’s:

 

  1. Contact the parish office at least six months in advance about proposed dates.
  2. Pre-marital Counseling: The Episcopal Church requires pre-marital counseling, after which the couple can be verified as best as possible to intend a life-long union and have the capacity to make that so.
    1. Ideally the couple can meet with the rector 4-6 times for sessions of about an hour each time within an eight week period. Evening and Saturday appointments are available.  Alternatives to this arrangement can be negotiated with the rector, involving fewer but longer meetings and/or use of phone or electronic/email exchanges.
    2. If the couple lives at some distance from Scituate then they can make arrangements, in consultation in advance with the rector, about meeting with a local clergyperson who will verify that premarital counseling has successfully been completed.
    3. During these sessions we will also cover specifics about the wedding—music and musicians, readings and so forth. A separate meeting might be indicated to discuss these practicalities earlier than the pre-marital counseling if timetables make this preferable.
  3. If one of the persons to be married is divorced: premarital counseling must be completed at least six weeks before the marriage ceremony in order for the appointed bishop to give consent to the ceremony. The divorce needs to be final for a year before remarriage. The person divorced must provide documentation that the divorce has been granted and finalized.
  4. Rehearsal: a rehearsal is required. The most common schedule is for a wedding to be on a Saturday, with rehearsal the late afternoon of the Friday before.
    1. All participants for the wedding—bride, groom, attendants, ushers, parents—will be present before the rehearsal can start.
    2. Please allow for 60 minutes for the rehearsal once it begins. Rehearsal dinner time and place should be planned accordingly.
    3. Bring the marriage license to the rehearsal. (If you think it’s hard to remember it for this event, try imagining remembering it on the actual wedding day.) Someone will be sent back to your lodgings to get the wedding license before the rehearsal will begin.
  5. Photography/videography. This is a sacred ceremony. Accordingly, photos can be taken before or after the service, but it is preferred that no photos are taken during the service. A stationary photographer/videographer, without flash and not impeding anyone’s line of sight, may also take pictures during the ceremony with prior conversation and arrangement with the rector. 
  6. Costs and fees:
    1. The sexton (janitor) is paid $150.
    2. If you use an organist provided by the church the fee is $150.
    3. A contribution to the Altar Guild (who set up candles, prepare the communion and so forth) of $75.
    4. If the bride and/or groom are active members of the congregation, and support its ministry with time, talent and treasure, there is no rental fee for use of the church and no fee for the rector.
    5. If neither the bride nor groom is an active participant of St. Luke’s then there is a rental fee for the church of $100 and an honorarium for the rector of $150.
  7. Service planning and notes:
    1. Specific details, such as music, readers, readings will be planned with the rector. The order of service can be found in the Book of Common Prayer, page 423, following; the same service can be found electronically at www.bcponline.org with the marriage ceremony found by the link to Pastoral Offices from the left hand side menu.
    2. Only sacred music is used during a church service (while this might be a broader category than you might think, it does put limits around some choices)
    3. Holy Eucharist (communion, the Mass) is preferred but not required. The Episcopal Church welcomes all, whether from a Roman Catholic, Protestant or Eastern Orthodox background, to receive communion, the bread and the wine at all services.
    4. No unity candle is used.

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(Last Updated 3/07)